Being A Bodhisattva

August 11th, 2005

As a victim of childhood sexual abuse there has always been a dark black hole at the centre of my being. In that hole I know I will find the pain and agony I went through and any remaining memories of specifics relating to the abuse. In that hole I will also find the possibility of peace and unleash my natural creativity. I must go into that hole, complete the journey into the heart of darkness that I began ten years ago.

I don’t know if I can do it alone, yet alone is, I suspect, how it must be done. There may be help around the corner or just down the street yet I could spend a lifetime pursuing avenues of help and miss what is right before my face. I must go into that darkness and come out the other side. What use I am to the world or other sentient beings is limited and controlled by that darkness. I see no choice but to be a bodhisattva warrior and undertake the task at hand. That’s why I took my Buddhist vows.

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