The article below was written by a freelance journalist last year. It was never published because the journalist was, he told me, threatened by Professor Norman Williams (AKA “The Lying Surgeon”) of Barts and The Royal London Hospital and Queen Mary College, University of London.

You may want to ask why such a high standing professor would lower himself to threaten a journalist? Damn good question. All I know is the journalist described the threats as “evil” and the man behind them as an “evil mother fucker”. What has this world come to? My MP, Ms Lynn Brown, has said she feels powerless to intervene, knowing that Williams has outright lied to her when pressed for answers. Why was Professor Norman Williams so scared he had to threaten a journalist? Or was the journalist lying? I don’t know the answers - maybe you do.

All I know is that once again I have been left up shit creek with no paddles in sight.

‘Are the people in control of our health selling us short? What is becoming of the NHS, an institution once the envy of the world? Is there a method in what we perceive as its’ increasing madness, or is it just madness? These are some of the questions facing one man who has taken on the establishment in pursuit of the answers.

As Mr P Bates MRCS of the Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital pointed out in a letter to Jee in January 2006, “I think the bottom line is that occasionally patients like yourself come along who do not fit any classical picture and although clearly something is wrong, we are unable to find out what the formal diagnosis is and all we can do as doctors is reassure you that this is not a serious orthopaedic problem.”‘

Apparantly the “Lying Surgeon” believes he is, and in fact he is, to all extents and purposes, above the law. If this sort of crap doesn’t worry you be careful because - as the Manic Street preachers said in their song “If you tolerate this” - “and if you tolerate this then your children will be next”.

People think that because I was abused as a child I exaggerate the scale of this horror. This information is from the Innocence In Danger organisations‘ French report (emphasis mine):

~o~

Internet : the new playground for paedo-criminals

Paedo-criminality is increasingly organised through international criminal networks using tools that are as banal as they are shocking: digital technology and the Internet.

If the Internet has changed society’s ways of functioning, child abusers also use informatics and the Internet to ‘hunt their prey,’ to groom young children and to transact their commerce of flesh.

Some think these dangers are exaggerated. But to exercise their paedo-criminal inclinations, child abusers and their business agents use the same electronic mail and the same chat rooms as our children.

We must also realise that, according to INTERPOL, the international traffic of children nets yearly over 19 Billion dollars.

According to surveys in Canada and USA, one child in five has been solicited to meet a potential aggressor.

The facts

3,000,000 children are reported missing, abused, prostituted, tortured, raped or killed all over the world, according to UNICEF.

1,000,000 more children are forced into this commercial sex every year.

Over 200,000 ‘paedo-cultural’ sites were identified in 2003 (as against 70,000 en 2001)

4,598 chat rooms have been identified world-wide as exchanging paedo-pornographic photos and films.

10,000 persons in France daily surf the net on these paedophile sites.

498 paedophile networks are listed as of today

20 CD Roms were discovered in one network (Zandvoort) containing almost 100,000 paedo-pornographic images, serving as a ’shopping catalogue’ for paedo-criminals.

On the average, a paedophile during his lifetime would have abused 100 to 250 children.

1.9 million calls were received in France by Numero Vert 119 in 1998.

A child can be bought for $20 to 20,000. But as a sex slave, he or she can bring in millions

I have been in hospital for three weeks today and am sicker than when I came in. Dr Giles Bond-Smith made what I believe to be a deliberate and transparent attempt on my life through mismedication (see story below “University College Hospital”). No independent investigation has been possible, because;

He then told the Camden Metropolitan Police Force I was mad and that they did not need to come and take a statement from me. So they didn’t bother. Then I telephoned New Scotland Yard (who confirmed what he had done). The operator realised they had accepted the word of a man accused of attempted murder against his accuser and that that was wrong - she said she would ensure the police attended.

Within two hours the Camden police did show up, took a small amount of evidence, but refused to take a statement. An hour after that the Consultant turned up in his tennis shorts on a Sunday morning - the first time I had seen him in a week - and tried to talk me out of pressing charges. this was intermingled with a conversation about my healthcare needs and I think the two should not have been so mixed up.

Since then - more than a week ago - I have telephoned the Camden Police on two occassions and asked what is happening. I was told an officer would call me back. My telephone calls do not get returned.

Today the Patientline system in the hospital -  which patients can use to watch TV, browse the internet and make phone calls, started refusing me access to all the website I own including this one. That happened at some point between 12pm and 6pm. I can only assume that all these events are related:

- The suppression of my human right to health is long documented on this site and now under investigation by a number of journalists and my MP. UCH are dilly-dallying at best and denying plain facts their own staff have seen and witnessed at worst.

The suppression of my human right to justice and fair access to the law has been accomplished it seems by joint enterprise of University College Hospital and the Camden Metropolitan Police force.

The attempts at understanding my health needs appear to be half hearted at best. The neurologist I met last week told me today there is “nothing wrong with my back”. He said the physiotherapist’s report completed over three weeks and which goes into great detail about the muscle wasting - naming most of the major groups in the back of my body by name as atrophied - is “wrong”.

Now Patientline are seemingly collaborating to supress my human right to freedom of speech and expression by denying me the right to write about my life and the denial of rights my “democratic” “motherland” offers. they are doing this by blocking my website so I can not publish without walking down the road to the internet cafe.

The material on this site is only objectionable to two groups of people: The first group is those doctors who lie and cheat. The second is paedophiles.

My lawyer will be on this in the morning.

I was raped from infancy through to age twelve by multiple abusers. It wasn’t nice. It hurt me psychologically and physically.  I have appropriate psychological support after a long battle. There has, however, been an ongoing failure to deal with the physical damage my body sustained in an appropriate way. Initially this was probably due to misunderstanding and an assumption that my problems were principally psychological. That simply no longer appears to be the case.

In discussion with my friend who is an Osteopath, we have arrived at the conclusion that there is quite probably a central nervous system issue. I occasionally enjoy a sporadic and progressive return of sensation from the neck down into my upper torso. I have no control of many of the muscles in my pelvis. I have suffered lifelong urinary incontinence attributed to the problems with my neck. My anal sphincter has been shown to be “stretched” and in part made of scar tissue. My rectum is internally prolapsed. The muscles in the back of my body have progressively failed over the last three years, starting with the right side, and progressing to the left. My diaphragm does not significantly displace at any stage of respiration. My theory/experience is that it the right hemisphere is paradoxically enervated in part and constantly drawn up to compensate for the failure of my pelvic floor - it effectively reduces the pressure in my abdomen - and this has been borne out by electromagnetic phrenic nerve testing.

I want to recount an experience from May 2004 that may shed light on what is going on, what I have just written. I had been concentrating my physical recovery work on strengthening and balancing muscles in my pelvis and back but shifted my focus somewhat to how I moved my neck. One day I was being very careful with the movements of my neck and something at the top of my neck clicked into place. My head rebalanced and twisted round to accommodate. The next thing I knew, as I stood before the mirror cleaning my teeth, a whole bunch of muscles in my pelvis started working. First I think was the urinary sphincter - I felt it close an unusual and unfamiliar experience. Then the anal sphincter and rectum - I felt my rectum uncurl up inside of me – it has now been shown that my rectum is prolapsed internally. Then muscles in the back of my hips and legs started working. My hips rotated a little and a muscle on the left of my spine seemed to relax, lengthening my lumbar spine, and my abdominal contents were pushed up inside of me as my pelvic floor and some other muscles in my pelvis started working. As I turned round, a muscle I had never before felt contract sucked in my belly, and I felt my lumbar spine supported. My friend the Osteopath explained to me this might have been the transverse abdominus as that muscle is co-enervated with the pelvic floor. I had never felt that sensation and it was amazing. Within half an hour the muscles behind my shoulders that were not working started doing so, the muscles behind the middle of my spine in my back engaged and I was standing two inches taller than I had been all my adult life.

This was all a shock to me. I had no Idea what I had done. I could walk properly, in a balanced fashion, and my body felt amazing. I could breathe properly and had never known that I was not doing so. I was two inches taller. I never realised before that people didn’t have to fight their own legs to walk, which is how it feels for me. As I moved to sit in a chair my body collapsed back and all the gains of that morning were immediately lost. My body corkscrewed back down into its habitual position. My feeling is that something somewhere was strong enough for me to stand but not for me to sit – or perhaps that some of those muscles that had just started working relapsed into their old patterns setting off the collapse as I tried
to sit.

I realised afterwards that this physical experience meant my body had been desperately hurt by the abuse and made the link to former physical problems.

I was unable to recreate this situation – I was unsure what I had even done. Shortly afterwards, perhaps with mistaken attempts to do so, I sustained an injury to my neck and lumbar spine. These structures were already dysfunctional as a result of the compensatory pattern to the organic damage sustained in the abuse. One morning on stepping out of the shower I experienced a spasm that started in my pelvis and ricocheted all the way up my spine. Some muscles behind my right shoulder stopped working immediately and I felt very unbalanced. Since that time my body has progressively decayed to the point where almost all the muscles of my back have failed and atrophied as I have progressively lost control. This started with the back right side of my body but has progressed to the left side as time has ticked by. My neck and pelvis are shot. My sacrum has curled into a ball and my lumbar sacral joint has collapsed back on itself, whilst from its base my spine is in kyphosis to the base of my neck. This has become more pronounced as my shoulders have collapsed over my chest as the muscles in my back have failed. Walking, sitting, standing, sleeping – everything is now painful and increasingly so.

In October 2004, my doctor referred me to The Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital. The first doctor I saw there undertook a very thorough examination (2 hours) and came up with a care plan: I would be referred to a neuro-urologist, an appropriate specialist to deal with my colo-rectal problems and when these reports were in I would be admitted for intensive inpatient physiotherapy. He told me I could expect to be in hospital for several months.

Unfortunately the person to whom I was referred to investigate my colo-rectal problems was a Gastroenterologist. She conducted an extremely painful rectal exam, told me “everything is quite fine up there but you will never recover”, “we must get you to stop worrying about your body so much” and “you’ve been reading the anatomy books haven’t you” - complete with wagging finger in the air. A year later when my GP re-referred me as she had become certain something had been missed, this person admitted she had been acting outside of her specialty and could not further any more investigations. She had also acted against the psychiatric advice in her hands that my physical problems were not a psychological manifestation but most likely due to organic damage from the abuse. This person formed the opinion my problems were psychological. She was a very famous doctor and current president of the British Medical Association. Her colleagues have now reluctantly proved some of the damage to my body but it has been like getting blood out of a stone. The first thing said to me by the person who took over was “we don’t normally do anything for people like you”.

I went back to the Orthopaedic Hospital and the boss of the unit I had been referred to saw me this time. This man, Joseph Cowan, basically told me he did not believe a word I said and that my attitude needed to improve. He said he might admit me to his unit if my attitude did improve. I asked for a second opinion, which he organised. I then complained about the way this man had treated me and he wrote to the other doctors I had been referred to asking them not to see me as I had complained about him. This is against the General Medical Council’s guidelines and clearly highly unethical. I have since found out under freedom of information laws that the maximum time from GP referral to admission to doctor Cowans unit is 21 weeks. He kept me out of his unit on spurious, manipulative unprofessional grounds for a year whilst my physical health deteriorated and then ensured they were not investigated thoroughly when those investigations started proving useful to me and damaging to him.

The body of evidence that I am now being deliberately denied medical care in the UK is now overwhelming. Perhaps this is to protect reputations of these doctors who early misdiagnosed my situation without proper investigation, perhaps the reasons are more nefarious. I do not say this lightly and have documented evidence. This has been allowed to progress to the point where frankly it threatens my life. At the current time, despite my knowing quite clearly much of what is wrong, there is no overall understanding of my situation from the doctors, no care plan or treatment in prospect, after three years of reluctant investigations. I am having to fight tooth and nail for needed investigations and spend all my money and now go into debt to pay for them privately.

The latest manifestation of this is that when I see a doctor now they say “even if we discover what is wrong with you we don’t think there is anything we can do to help”. Talk about “putting the cart before the horse”. How can you know you won’t be able to help in the future when you admit you don’t know what is wrong now? This is seemingly an attempt to evade British negligence laws, which demand some intervention must have been possible before negligence can be proved. The doctors here don’t seem to understand I don’t want to prove negligence - I want a body that works, or is at least not decaying further. My main concern and that of my family, friends and have the team supporting me psychologically is my physical survival.

If you know someone who can help, a philanthropist who might med-evac me out of this medical backwater,  a media person who can cast the spotlight of publicity on this case, or just friends who might know one of these people, please, do it.

“Somatization disorder is a chronic condition in which there are numerous physical complaints. These complaints can last for years, and result in substantial impairment. The physical symptoms are caused by psychological problems, and no underlying physical problem can be identified.”

“A conversion disorder is a rare form of mental illness in which a person has physical symptoms that no medical condition can explain. The person is not “faking,” and the symptoms do not appear to be under the person’s conscious control. The symptoms, such as a loss of muscle control, blindness, deafness, seizures or even unconsciousness, can cause significant distress.”

The doctors have got it wrong. Just because they are unable to identify physical causes they ascribe the cause to psychology. This kind of barbaric thinking is what has damaged my body so much. The actual psychological problem lays in the doctors mind, unable to admit “I don’t understand” they blame the patient. This is another form of original sin.

The fact of the matter is that extreme psychological problems are almost always rooted in extreme physical trauma which is, or is perceived as, life threatening: Childhood sexual abuse and physical abuse. These conditions are indeed “psychosomatic” but medicine teaches doctors the wrong meaning of this word. Psychosomatic means “relating to mind and body”.

The disorders described above, if they really existed, fall into the category of “psychogenetic” disorders, which means problems originating in the mind. The problem here stems from the philosophical ideas of Renes Descartes - who tried to separate mind and body into different universes - and Freud - who first siad “my patients were sexually interfered with when they were children and show improved functioning when they talk about it”, but later said “my patients have really vivid imaginations and are kind of fu**ed up”.

Descartes ignored the fact that mind and matter can not be in entirely separate fields of existence if they are to interact, and Freud, living in Victorian Austria was quick to turn tail as his theories were socially unnacceptable to the Vienniese aristocracy who were his clients. Thus we live in a world where Descartes faulted phillosophy and Freud’s faulted psychology prevail.

In this world, doctors like to ascribe things they don’t comprehend to the psychology of the patient. This is a really easy way of not admitting their own limitations. We all know the sort of people who went to medical college. Not the brightest sparks in town, usually, but driven by the demands of their parents to succeed. they get the school grades to get into med school and then study hard to pass. They are people who need to work to understand things. They are people who, when presented with something new, something to be discovered rather than learned, fail. Not all are like that. Yet that and the career structure means British Medicine is backwards.

I am going to make another sweeping statement I can not prove but know is true. Most people who are given the label of Somatization disorder or Conversion disorder were sexually or physically abused as children. They were physically injured at the same time they endured the stress of believing their lives would end. Without “shaking off” the psychological harm and having their physical injuries dealt with appropriately they grow up compensating around their injuries. Later in llife their bodies experience multiple problems associated with these untreated injuries and the compensatory patterns they employ to survive them.

These physical issues are tied up with the psychological issues these patients face. But the link is not:

Psychological Issues   –cause–>    Physical Issues

i.e. it is not “psychogenetic” (mind causing physical problems)

The link is:

Rape and Abuse        –cause–>      Physical and Psychological Issues

i.e. it is “psychosomatic” (real physical and psychological problems with the same genesis, or origin, in abuse)

Doctors are as delusional as the average person regarding the extent of and effects of chiildhood abuse. Many are in denial. Many were abused. Some are abusers. It is time doctors stopped protecting each other and pretending they are godlike, admitted their faults and engaged patients as equals. Then physical symptoms might not be ignored and lives might not needlessly be ruined. 

Oh crumbs! I’m losing control of my neck. It has never functioned right but has deteriorated badly in recent weeks. Now, corkscrewed down on itself, doubled back and rolled round to one side, it is starting to hurt a lot.

I’ve smelled of faeces for a few months now as control of everything below my neck has gotten worse and worse and my pelvis is most badly effected. On that score there was good news. The tests kindly done by the Prof I am under at the hospital have proven worthwhile and confirmed what I wrote to him in September about my rectum being prolapsed. I am hoping he has good news for me about the next steps in working out what is wrong or what can be done to help.

On the other hand unfortunately, the MRI scans done this week show some features of what is wrong but seem to miss any good detail in the key areas. The sacrum, which has collapsed, is missing enitirey, god bless their cotton socks. NO doubt the report will be along the lines of  ”Congrats Mr Buddhist all is good and well”, or something of the sort.

I did tell them they wouldn’t understand what is wrong with me without doing three-dimensional scans and they agreed to do that. When I saw they had booked a routine 2D MRI I was gobsmacked. And now based on this they will perhaps, firstly, misunderstand what is wrong with me, and, secondly, use it as reason to continue the policy of doing nothing that is slowly killing me.

To top it all, I learned that tucked away in the basement they have one of those fancy 30 second full body scanners used for all the trauma victims. With that they could have looked at my pelvis in 3d avoiding all the intrusive, yet fruitful, tests I have faced, look at my full skeleton in 3D and get the structural relationship of all these things clear.

Patients do sometimes know what is wrong with them and doctors do sometimes get it wrong. Patients need to be heard and many doctors need to get their noses out of the career gutter.

* in a new policy I have decided not to name and shame hospitals any longer.

Mortido and Libido, Freud said, ruled our lives. These ad-hoc structures are but points on a scale, limits within which one finds all aspects of self. Habits of perception and being dictate patterns that assume control. Parts of a whole, a system of control. A little commitee.

Sometimes I pick up a brush and forget for a while that my body is crumbling. I put paint on paper. It often makes me cry doing this. As a child I couldn’t “do” art - largely a result of the stifling of my creativity that stemmed from the enduring sexual abuse I suffered.

Art heals. Painting heals. Meditation heals too. The word comes from the same latin root as the word medicine. Medicine has not been healing my body and I place the blame squarely on the shoulders of certain doctors who have been lead so far astray from truth by the sze and importance of their own ego’s that they do not wish to see that which is before them.

Children the world over have terrible teeth. In America there has been a long hstory of widespread use of braces for corrective purposes long berfore this was common in Britain, I suspect, Though I haven’t looked up the stats I honestly  suspect this as the US is and has long been more image conscious than Britain.

Both countires, like most societies, suffer endemic sexual abuse of children by adults. This injures them. Injuries involve the musculature, joints and the spine. Especially in the neck and temporomandibular Joint or TMJ and in the suboccipital areas. This as a direct result of oral abuse facilitated by the bending back of the head. this can result in severe injury and, untreated, in systemic compensations that cause lifelong health difficulties. These are unrecognised, untreated and belittled or written off as psychocomatic in Britain.

In America the distorted teeth growth resulting from TMJ dysfunctions and the distortions in jaw function were often corrected with braces long before in Britain. There also might be much more abuse in Britain. Thats why our teeth are like graveyard stones after years of settlement.

Abuse directly affects and causes all kinds of totally unrecognised physical injuries that might result in the psychological difficulties associated wth abuse. After all a body so injured it is out of your control and memories so harmful you don’t remember them could easily have their common birth in the immediate aftermath of violent life threatening rape: Animal hypnosis - the limp state of giving in which the victim has to assume to survive.

Paedophilia is portrayed as a lone man’s game played at the borders of the human psyche and the borders of society: It is portrayed as an oddity, a rarity, a danger that comes from strangers. Many paedophiles do act alone, but they are no strangers to their victims: most are fathers or other relatives or family friends. And the majority do not act alone at all. Paedophilia is a group activity and organised business matter. That may seem strange, but let’s face it, if you are into raping children it is no stranger than selling burgers.

It seems more than probable that most paedophilia is a group activity and very socially acceptable amongst the groups that practice it. Fred West was a brothel keeper for such organised paedophile groups. He was not prepared to take the can for their actiivities which is why he “hanged himself” in prison before trial. At trial Fred West intended to come clean about what he was doing and name names. Many of these names were and are very important respectable people. Rose West’s quiet was assured: although completely deranged by her own abusive childhood she was stable and afraid of losing her life to the extent that she could be relied upon. Especially after they killed Fred.

The Sun newspaper has been running a campaign asking what kind of sick people are sending Rose West money in prison that she can binge out on chocolate. Well, where do we start? The sort of people who like to rape and kill children? The sort of people who have the power to keep their activities secret and scare those lower down the pecking order in the “club”? The sort of people who can assuredly tell Rose West they will look after her, and be believed - because of their status and power. The clients of their child brothel included people who, if the truth ever comes out, will send this nation and people around the world into shock.

Do not for a moment think the wests case is a rarity or in any way an exceptional case: the only exception here is that anything was discovered and placed before the law. Remember the famous Belgian case of Marc Dutroux? He too was capturing children and young women and using and abusing them, as well as handing them over to an organised paedophile gang. When asked why he had not handed one victim over to the paedophile ring, Mr Dutroux replied, “I did not give her because I knew that she was going to be killed”. And the Dutroux case had tentacles which lead deep into Belgian power politics - and which lead to nothing in the “bungled” investigation that lead to hundreds of thousands of belgians marching in protest.

There is quite possibly a link between these issues and the lack of medical care I have been offered for the damage caused to me by the abuse I suffered as a child. If powerful people are engaged in these activities and able, by and large, to engage in them with impunity, it is because the activity is a group activity. Perpetrators are able to call on a wide and powerful network of active paedophile connections to hide their activities, cover their tracks and, in the case of Fred West, ensure no news escapes.

It seems likely that this may be what has been happening to me: Initially there was some negligence fuelled by the fallacious view that child abuse is principally a psychological activity and has principally psychological effects (which false view is deliberately placed and supported in medicine by paedophiles). This leads to a body of either constructively wrong diagnosis or just misleading diagnosis (in the case of non paedophiles who buy the myths). If the systemic compensations I suffer are documented and dealt with the fact that they are a common response to early and repeated rape will come out and victims will start to find appropriate help and then recover. And when they recover physically they recover psychologically: putting the paedophiles in danger.

As there seems to be an intentional effort afoot to deny me healthcare, I suggest to any doctor engaged in my case that when a colleague or contact approaches them and suggests it would be professionally inconvenient for my ills to be healed they stop and think: “Am I supporting a colleague or am I helping paedophiles get away with their crimes?” Of course, neither reason is justification but as my former webhost put it:

“Regardless of whether there has been any negligence, the doctors involved are behaving in a way which seems more to do with self preservation that getting to the truth and actually putting right any wrong.”