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Paedophiles - The New “Witches”?

June 1st, 2006

Paedophilia - as defined at Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia means the sexual dysfunction of “being sexually attracted primarily or exclusively to pre-pubescent children”. Persons with this attraction are called paedophiles. How can it be that some persons are sexually attracted to children? Anyone who has enjoyed the priveledge of spending time with young infants and children knows their vulnerabilty, openness and charm, and can only be horrified that this happens at all. We must move beyond horror to understanding. We must do this because to do otherwise is a continuation of the denial of these acts, their prevelance and the harm they cause.

A paedophile is acting under forces within their mind that are so strong as to override the natural nurturing instincs and allow them to hurt infants and children. These forces, these drives are the result of a deeply scarred and divided psyche. The paedophile was themselves almost certainly sexualised at an early age in a violent and painful manner and most probably this has caused them to suffer dissociation in response. This is not to say that all victims or dissociated persons will become abusers - indeed the opposite is true: most will not.

The dissociated parts of the whole form a web of deceit that hides the abuse and its concomitant shame, rage and horror from the conscious mind. Especially if the abuse is repeated, there will be a part of the self which is aware of and may even grow to enjoy the physical contact and acts of sex. This part of the person is removed from conscious contact with the rest of the mind. This contains the abuse within a closed world to allow normal functioning at times when the victim is not being abused. This type of splitting typically occurs with children sexualised before age 3 - 6 when the personality is being formed. Those abused later when the personality has had more chance of forming enjoy a greater chance or remaining intact and will follow a different pathology.

When the victim of these acts grows up one of three things will happen. For most they will live lives dictated by uncertaintly and fear on a level they are only dimly aware of. They may or may not form working relationships and hold down jobs. They may or may not become drug users, criminals or prostitues. They may or may not commit suicide. They will not abuse children, though if they are women, they may chose to have relationships with men who do.

The next largest group will become aware at some point that “something is wrong”. They will work on themselves to find peace, achieve understanding or remember what this distant hum of pain is hiding. They will struggle and fight the denial they have so successfully welded into themselves and that of society. They may remember the abuse and they may or may not recover to varying extents. They will not abuse children.

The third group will never become aware there is something wrong. They are so strongly dissociated they just can’t see the walls or feel them, let alone peer over or break them down. Without knowing it they are full of rage, hatred, and other posionous emotions. There is still a part of them that is a sexualised child and that part may find children sexy. That part may in certain circumstances wrench control from the rest of the person, or may be in total conrol, and act out the horrors inflicted on it. That part of the person does not know it is wrong, or does not hear the screams of other parts of the person which do. They represent a danger to children.

Some abusers might not fit this pattern. Some may come from non dissociative, non abusive pasts. But if such information is gathered from perpetrators there is no way of knowing its accuracy. They may not know, may still be in denial, not only of the hurt they have caused, but of the harm done to them. Broken people break people. Like the victims of abuse, the abusers are not to be blamed if we want to solve the problem. The patterns have to be broken yet at the moment we are acting out a usual human herd tendancy that will produce no good results. This tendancy is to cast out that which we find distasteful.

By stigmatising and publicly hanging out to dry the occassional abuser through the criminal system, by waging “stranger danger” campaigns and the like we are ignoring the truth of the matter. Most children who are sexually abused will be abused by otherwise loving members of their own family. People who are themselves victims. By turning pedophillia into the new witchcraft and casting out our demons we ignore the truth and endanger children of future generations.

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Got A Bad Back? Live In London?

May 31st, 2006

Got a bad back? Live in London? Ever tried inversion? Hanging upside down from your ankles creates traction through the hips and pelvis and neck helping relieve the intervertebrael and parapspinal muscles.

Buy an inversion table from me :)

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Struggling To Let Go: Why? Let Peace Be.

May 30th, 2006

Kate, a regular reader of freedomforall.net wrote “I have long been struggling to let go of the need to look for others for help and/or approval, for them to say I’m OK.” in the comments to my recent post Inside Out and Back To Front”. That post was about the difference between a life directed from inner resources and a life directed at satisfying externally percieved desires and threats.

When Kate writes “struggling to let go” she is emphasising another key obstacle on the path to realisation. In trying to get from “here” to “there”, in exerting effort to “achieve” peace, we are unknowingly setting in chain a causal process which will preclude us from our goal. We are taught in early childhood that we are not OK. We learn to run around looking for the things and experiences and behaviours which will make us OK. They do not exist yet we are busy all our lives seeking them out. Similarly we try to seek out our own peace.

Meditation, the path to peace, is fundamentally the opposite of this process. Yet in trying to find peace we bring our hunger, our thirst, our craving for it to the fore. By doing so we ensure we will never find it because the satisfaction of this lack of peace can not be found through seeking which is the opposite to peace. The only way to satisfy it is to ignore it, to ignore all contents of mind, to sit.

Not to hypnotise oneself into not noticing but to notice and then laugh, let go and ignore: to develop, to cultivate, “the watcher” - that part of oneself which sits on the sidelines taking notes but not actively doing. Peace is a state of mind in which the current states of mind you inhabit have been worn out by their own activity. When they stop there is peace. You can’t use them to find their own absense, you can use the watcher.

Breath by breath, if you are sitting in the right way, peace descends upon you, or grows up from the ground to inhabit you. Sitting is just about letting peace be. Recovery can be a struggle but at some point it has to become an outbreath. It has to become a realisation that the dangers of the past have gone, that the habituated responses to them are a self maintaining pattern of fight/flight. That the struggle of recovery has become the thing you are strying to recover from. The knowing has to be incorporated - it has to be a bodily knowing. And for such a bodily knowing to happen, the thinking mind has to stop struggling and settle down first.

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BBC and Government Compliance

May 26th, 2006

The BBC news anchor asked the man in Washington “George Bush spoke very openly about any mistakes he may have made in Iraq. Were people surprised by that openness?”. George Bush said his gung-ho talk sych as “wanted dead or alive” was not helpful and that the biggest mistake was Abu Ghraib pronounced “Abu GaReb”.

I somehow doubt the people of the world consider that an open or full enough apology for their purposes. especially as he said it was still right to have faught the war and toppled Sadam. Mr Bush does not understand it is the deliberate lies and constructed false justification of war that means everything he has done since has been so disliked and distrusted. And the BBC reporter needs a slap with a wet fish, a la Monty Python, to raise her awareness of bias. There is a fishy smell of Government compliance about BBC morning television.

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Freedom For All? Or Why Bush Is A Pretentious Tyrant.

May 8th, 2006

A quick search on Google for the words ‘freedom for all’ places freedomforall.net first followed by a CNN report on the second inauguration of President George Bush. ‘Bush called on the “force of human freedom” to “break the reign of hatred” and “expose the pretensions of tyrants” in the world.’ says the report.

Bush has no idea what freedom is. He has not escaped his own appalling childhood or the consequences of his alcoholism, let alone faught off the “mind-forged manacles” of his culture and society. The biggest war of propoganda and hatred ever waged is Mr Bush’s “War on Terror”.

In short, Mr Bush is a pretentious tyrant.

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Inside Out And Back to Front

May 7th, 2006

I live my life inside out and back to front. I think we all do. I think that is what the Buddha and Christ discovered. I think it is a consequence of our warped societies that upbringing raises generation after generation of inside-outers.

We look to the outside world to satisfy our inner sense of inadequecy. We tell ourselves dreams of the future and recount historical hallucinations to maintain our lack of presence in the eternal now. We do not discover ourselves and live our lives from the inate felt sense of OK-ness at the root of being. Most of us never feel that feeling.

The inducements and coersions to comply with norms of family and society beat out of us early our sense of ourselves as OK and as justified in ‘existing without doing’. We must be the right thing to fit in and it is seemingly not what we are in ourselves. So we do as we are told and put our feelings, thoughts and wishes to the side. We repress our felt sense of self.

“Spare the rod, spoil the child” may have passed away as a norm of childrearing but the domestication of our children is as complete as that of our own dogs and cats. And we would not do it to them if our own domestication was not so total. Which means for most of you what I have written here will appear to be completely incomprehensible nonsense at best.

Put simply, forget all your sense of social obigation and find out from inside what is the right thing to do. It will probably take years of practice before you can recognise, let alone master, the stages of this process.

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“S C Johnson - A Family Company” - Responsible For Millions Of Child Asthma Cases?

May 2nd, 2006

S C Johnson manufacture amd sell household products. Glade airfreshener is second in the UK market place to Airwick. Around the world millions of households use Johnson’s air freshener products.

If you spray air freshener in your home on a daily basis your children are five times more likely to get Asthma than if you do not. Scientists believe that every 10 microgram increase in atmospheric levels of particles result in a 1% increase in deaths from respiratory conditions like asthma.

When I grew up air freshener was sprayed in the loo if you made it smell. That was in posh houses. Now, everyone sprays air freshener all over the place. That and and car use account for much of the increase in Asthma. Toxic compunds are formed when the fumes react with ozone in the environment.

S C Johnson are a family company. Still owned by the family who founded the firm. Business has been good to the Johnson family. It doesn’t mean their products are good for your family. In fact many have hidden dangers. The chemical soup in which we live has never been thoroughly researched - even if thousands of puppies and the like kicked the bucket ensuring individual elements were “acceptably” and not “unacceptably” dangerous. But that is all they died for. Now we are paying the price for our chemical warfare.

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Stop The War !

April 20th, 2006

“I need to love George Bush and the FBI, they need to love Osama Bin Laden, Palestine and European “lefties”: we all need to stop the war.”

Is the above, written on the 29th October 2004, true? Is it that simple? If we all learn to love each other will peace prevail? What “love” would this be? Are there different “kinds” of love?

Questions, questions. Answers, answers: Yes - it is that simple; Yes - peace can prevail; the “love” of “going beyond oneself” to serve another is that which works; and, Yes - there are many “kinds” of “love” some are downright painful and some are purer than a vacuum in space.

You have to learn fast when you do dumb stuff.

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We Live In A Mad World: What Is A Sane Response?

April 5th, 2006

I say we live in a mad world. What do I mean? I mean that the way we collectively organise things is nothing short of insane. The three main products of our economics are work, waste and weapons. There is a little wealth generated, but this is guarded closely by a select few bloodlines who have held ownership over earth for generations.

My “Sane Response” to this has been that I have recently “adopted” a seventeen year old kid who had been left to fend for herself in this mad city, lost between a mother who could not care in the right way and a father who didn’t care properly. She’s a great kid, though I doubt she or many or many of the people who know or knew her would believe it. She was heading in all the wrong directions lost in a world she had no clue about.

It has been a strange journey learning to parent a seventeen year old from scratch in a very short time. I came to know this girl through her ex boyfriend who is a friend of mine. Her father sometimes refused to pay the rent on a flat for her so she got kicked out. She was reduced to a choice of ex lovers and casual acquaintances who could offer no safety or security and, it seems, all at the price of access to her body.

I offered to let her stay here with only a few basic rules: no stealing, no lying, no bringing people here without asking - and never strangers - and that she use her time here as a base to start building things in a better way for herself. That I let up to her pretty much, though I answer any question she has with appropriate information or guidance if I can, and she has already changed beyond recognition after four days here.

People say teenage girls are the hardest children to deal with. To be honest, so far, my nephews nappies take the medal hands down. I am not without experience in between these extremes, though not personally a parent. The kid i am looking after is more woman than child, by a very long way, but still she is in some ways just a little girl. Wish me luck, I must be mad.

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This Precious Life

March 28th, 2006

This life, so precious, how often do we stop to notice. The moments passing, smiles coming and going, frowns too. It sometimes takes a harsh lesson for us to sit up and take heed. Amrita Dhammika of the Amida Buddhist Order died this week in Africa. She was a beautiful spirit, devoted to peace in all it’s guises.

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Keywords: IRREVERENT, THE IRREVERENT BUDDHIST, FREEDOM, BUDDHIST, FREEDOMFORALL, BUDDHIST COMMENT, BUDDHISM, BUDDHA, COMMENT, ANALYSIS, BUDDHIST COMMENT, FREEDOM, LOVE, POLITICS, PEACE, ECONOMICS, PHILOSOPHY, PSYCHOLOGY, CHILDHOOD, OUR WORLD, THE FUTURE, SIMPLE LIVING, ANARCHY