Meditation, mantras and chants, prayers to the buddhas, the list goes on. There are other ways and means less well explored. Extrapolating the ego, stretching it, exploring it, being it, without let or hesitation is a method which can also lead to beneficial fruition.

There is a line from the Tao Te Ching, one of my favourite books, that says “If you want to be straight, you must let yourself be crooked”. It is an interesting Koan. What does it mean to be straight, what does it mean to be crooked?

These things one must explore and understand for oneself in the various aspects of ego which go to make up the person. Crookedness and straightness can refer equally to aspects of mind as well as body.

I haven’t been posting here for a while. Following five years of celibacy I recently made a democratic informed decision to get laid. To this end I joined a “swingers” website and starting hanging out in the chat room. It’s a world in itself I can tell you.

Having become familiar with the place and how things work, and having not get laid, I have mad some interesting friends. There are people who hang out in these rooms and have a laugh. Some of them probably meet and have sex but they are pretty discrete. There are others called “munters” who run in and out of rooms shouting what would basically be obscenities in any other context but are considered as nothing more than crass in this situation.

People react differently to this , some becoming abusive and others putting the offenders on “iggy”, ignoring them, or trying to be nice, often for a limited period. A few times I have tried a different approach, explaining to the person concerned how their behaviour could be moderated to achieve more friendly responses.

Some don’t like this and some react with interest. Some think a little about it and respond with a changed attitude. People want to learn. You might think you get the dregs of society and those of low social status on these sites but no, they are often well educated and erudite, interesting and charming. I could say that of the regulars at least - though the “munters”, by and large, I can not vouch for: they probably span allsorts.

So I didn’t get laid, but I made some friends with whom I can have a social life of sorts and a place where I can, to a small extent, undertake some Dhammic activity in helping others with their communication skills. Like the Tao said, if you want yourself to be straight you have to let yourself be crooked.