The Medical Protection Society have been reading freedomforall.net again. I do hope this, and the appearance of a Bedford Row based Law Chambers on my log, does not mean ill-advised legal action will be attempted again.

Much as it would be undoubted fun to be in court, you won’t win, and of that you can be one hundred per cent certain. How can I be so sure? I know your client won’t have told you all the relevant facts - had he done so you’d refuse to take instruction.

In the lift at University College Hospital last week I filled my briefs with shit, due to the faecal incontinence I suffer. The lift was crowded and it is always stuffy in them in any case. People looked miffed and I whistled. You get used to these things.

When a solicitor or barristers’ client fills their ‘brief’ with shit it usually comes into the light of day under cafefull cross questioning rather than falling down the leg of your pyjamas in a lift. I’d suggest carefully cross questioning your client before launching any ill-fated action.