Nothing to Say: freedomforall.net to close down?
In the email inbox yesterday was an annual renewal notice for this domain. freedomforall.net has been in existence for two years now and has garnered a lot of passer-by type readers and a few regulars. I thank them all for their generous donation of time in reading wehatever scrapings from the plate of life I post here. Once in a while positive feedback has even convinced me I have something worthwhile to say.
In the meantime I am discovering that I have less and less to say. In part this is a function of the general boredom of a life ruled by ill-health but largely it is because I am starting to see how conditioned all my reactions and responses are, not just in my writing but in many aspects of daily life.
As I learn more about me and being buddhist I realise that a fuller commitment to meditation and deeper understanding is what I need. I am not as realised and washed clean as I could be. Most things I say and do are coloured with the traces of a past I do not know and reactions to it I do not understand. In the circumstances I am coming to the conclusion that I have nothing of much deep value to say.
Publishing this website is too much of an open invitation to my ego to play ball. And although sayings such as ‘don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater’ come to mind, in this case there is no baby, there is no bathwater, and soon there will probably be no more freedomforall.net as I am contemplating dropping the whole project, letting the domain name lapse, and taking to the forest.