I rarely seem to be taking my usual attitude towards politics and rarer still to be writing a Buddhist inspired take on things, for which I was nominated last year for a “Blogghisattva” award.
This suffering of the body as old wounds have become raw and new ones deteriorated has taken over so much. The Buddha put Rupa first. He stopped his ascetic practices and drank a little from the bowl of life. Rupa is body and to feed a hungry body, to maintain the physical ground of being, is fundamental.
I am also a British Citizen, and Englishman born and bred. I have expectations of my fellow countrymen. Gentlemanly behaviour is always appropriate. I am known, to those who know me, from old ladies in the place I live, to close and old friends, as a gentleman. Those doctors who have done their jobs know this too. Those who haven’t know I can bite back.
Which is where my identity as an Englishman and that as a Buddhist come to a head, and Englishman loses. At the end of the day expectations lead us to greater suffering. Always. People say hope, which is a form of expectation keeps you going. It holds you down. Whether it is met and you are burdened with more earthly ties which inevitably lead to suffering, or not met in which case, generally, one suffers sooner, doesn’t matter.
So I will drop my expectation. I will attempt to carefully and fully explain that which is “wrong” with my body to doctors, for now I direly need their help. And if ever and when I am up and walking tall again, I will remove any inflamatory references from my website.
I don’t wish to fan flames. I just need a body that works. Mistakes were made. It happens. A lack of speed and grace in dealing with it can be excused. Now the time has come for things to happen promptly. My body is very weak.
Yet still I smile at everyone I see. Smiles and sunshine cost nothing is my favourite piece of wisdom.